A strange and bizarre phenomenon apparently happened this past winter in New England-- it got cold! Wait... you mean that this doesn't sound newsworthy or strange? Well you wouldn't have guessed this by the crazy reactions to sub zero temperatures and leading news stories about the weather. It's either a slow news day or local news finds it compelling to go to area strip malls and ask random people how they're reacting to the weather. My favorite reaction was an older gentleman who simply answered, "It's January!" in a very short response. Amen, brother.
Anyway, the cold weather hasn't delayed me from writing lately, just the lack of motivation and material, however call me a little stir crazy but there's some "brain snow" I need to shovel out and put into print...
-- While I am absolutely sick and tired of the relentless commercials about the impending conversion to "Digital TV" I cannot wait for the interview from some remote little town on the day after this conversion with an idiot who apparently was "surprised" by the changeover. I can see the copy now... "I'm live here in West Cupcake, NH, and surprisingly, even after over TWO YEARS of warning people that their favorite soap operas won't be available by just wrapping tin foil around the rabbit ears on their black and white TV set, some people in this little backwards town still flooded TV stations with angry calls, demanding a rebroadcast of 'One Life to Live'." You cannot watch any network television show or listen to the radio without the constant reminders about how if you're one of the several hundred people left in this country who still use rabbit ears and tin foil to watch your "stories" you now have to go out and get a box to make this happen-- or else!!
I wonder how much healthier this country would be if public interest television reminded people to wash their hands after going to the bathroom or that Skittles are indeed not "fruit" rather than the constant doomsday warnings about how watching "Oprah" won't be possible without the new converter box. Sadly, even my own mother was confused with what she needed to do in anticipation of the "big day" (there is actually a countdown of days on her local news station which, since she lives in Western MA, is the lead story EVERY night). "Will I only be able to watch the HD channels? What about my NECN? How will I get the weather?*" *- my mother insists on several channels to get her weather information and then takes the best or worst case scenario depending on what she has to do that day.-- Do they make toxic crayons? I don't think so. You think it's safe for Crayola to remove the giant "NON-TOXIC" from the box? Speaking of which, whoever invented the crayon sharpener is a genius. And speaking of which, no, I don't write in crayon... usually.
-- Sixteen years ago this week, my old college roommate Patrick and I traveled from Westfield to Washington DC to watch the Clinton inauguration. My memories from that trip include: stopping in Philadelphia at the Betsy Ross house and calling it the "Marion Ross house" and at first laughing since we both instantly knew that this was the name of the actress who played Mrs. Cunningham on "Happy Days" and then being quite melancholy knowing that perhaps we may not to publicize the fact that we knew this little bit of trivia; breaking my aunt and uncle's salt and pepper shaker while we got drunk staying at their house and to this day I have not replaced it-- how ARE they seasoning their food?!; getting primo space near the Treasury building to see the Clintons walk down the street and snapping some great pictures (which I really should scan); and driving back through NYC and going to a Mexican restaurant where I had flan for the first, and thankfully last, time. When I look back on this, I can't believe that that's all I remember from this trip.
-- Is there anyone else who sees snowplows as the absolute definition of a paradox? Stay behind the plow and you drive much safer, yet at 15 mph. Pass the plow and you make better time yet risk hazardous conditions. And what do we all do? We pass the plow. This shows how valuable saving time is versus being safe. This also shows that I was going to make this paradox much more interesting to write about and in my mind, created all sorts of scenarios and stories yet when it boils down to it, it is what it is.
And on that note... I'll talk to you all most likely when this great nation has a new President signaling the end of an "error" and while I will not be down in DC this time around, I will remember the Clinton one fondly by watching endless reruns of "Happy Days".
Cheers and stay warm,
Mike
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